Sometimes I fall.
The pain rushes over me. I can hardly breathe. Shear panic takes over. The flood gates open and tears slide down my cheeks then fall onto my lap.
My heart breaks. Shatters into a million tiny pieces. Pieces so small they can never be put back together.
In that second my life changed forever.
The questions begin to flood my mind. "Will Cliff fit in at school?, Will he go to College?, Will I have the right words and strength to answer when he asks 'Why me? Why am I different? What caused me to be this way?', Will Cliff get married and have a family of his own? Will he be able to drive?..."
Sometimes I cry for a few minutes. Sometimes I cry for what feels like a life time.
But it always ends the same.
I pick myself up off of the floor and begin to put the broken pieces of my heart back together.
(Cliff said "look Mom, no hands!" while playing with his cars at the coffee table this week - This is a tremendously huge accomplishment for him)